Meditation Intervention

Tags

acceptance, meditation, mindfulness, Monkey mind, relationships, spirituality

This week, I’m going to do a Meditation Intervention with a friend of mine.

This is not because I’m The World’s Best Meditator or anything. She asked me to share my experience and offer advice, since I’m familiar with this particular stretch of turbulent waters. I’ve been fumbling my way through the often frustrating landscape of meditation for a while now.

My friend is an incredibly strong person, who has recently gone through difficult things that give me heart palpitations even thinking about. She has been doing some meditation, but she’s feeling pretty stuck at the moment.

I’m sure this sounds very familiar to all you meditators. We’ve all been there…bogged down by Monkey Mind and feeling like we are just not good at meditation. We think we are weak-willed or doing it wrong or just inherently incapable. Worst of all, we say the most horrible things to ourselves about what this apparent failure means about our character.

So, I’m going to try to shake some self-compassion into her – because here’s the thing:

Meditation is our natural state, we’ve just forgotten how to linger there.

Stillness, presence, awareness – look at any other animal in the natural world and you’ll see that they are constantly living in that state. We are the only animals that have misplaced that skill. It’s there somewhere, lost amongst the clutter of incoming texts and deadlines and trips to the DMV. We simply need to practice getting that stillness back, but our culture is so far removed from those natural skills that getting it back is really hard.

We spend decades learning to multi-task, use our critical thinking skills and plan ahead…which is all great.

But we almost never practice getting our brain to shut the hell up.

I confess: I am not a great meditator. It’s not like I sit down and it’s all stillness and light in there. I have to work – hard. It takes a lot of focus and energy for me to center myself for even 50% of the time that I am sitting on my meditation cushion.

Have I mentioned that I have had a daily meditation practice for 7 years?

Nevertheless, this is something that I have committed myself to, because of what it does for the rest of my life. It’s like to going to the gym. You don’t go to the gym to be really good at going to the gym. You go to the gym because it makes you healthier for the rest of your life outside of the gym.

Meditation is the same way. I might not spend my 25 minutes in the morning in a perfect state of bliss. I might have to chase down my mind, like I’m chasing after a puppy in a theme park. I might have itches and kinks and a really annoying eyelash in my eye. I just need to surrender to all of that.

Because regardless of how that all goes, the process of sitting down with the intention of being in stillness always causes me to spend the rest of my day in a greater sense of awareness.

Always.

So, I’m not entirely sure what I’ll say to my friend for our Meditation Intervention. There is no magic bullet for this stuff, but maybe I’ll start with this:

Meditation is one of those things you simply can’t fail at. The only failure is in being unkind and giving up on yourself.

——–

In case you are looking for a little motivation or inspiration, these are books that I really like:

Wherever You Go, There You Are – Jon Kabat-Zinn Ph.D:

He’s a molecular biologist, you can’t get much more straight shooting than that. He has an entire center dedicated to the proven medical benefits of meditation (or mindfulness, as he calls it, so that people don’t get intimidated). You can’t go wrong with any of his books.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook – Edmund J. Bourne:

This is the first book my therapist started me off with when she recommended meditation for my panic attacks. It has clear directions for anxiety reducing techniques and short writing exercises.

Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation – Sharon Salzberg:

Perfect for beginners. I love this one because it’s a 28 day program that comes with a CD of 15 minute guided meditations.

After the Ecstasy, the Laundry – Jack Kornfield:

Besides that it’s an awesome title, this book has some great thoughts on waking up to our life.

When Things Fall Apart (or really anything) by Pema Chodron:

Particularly wonderful if you are dealing with specific challenges.

10% Happier – Dan Harris:

This is a great book for the cynic or the person who is convinced they can’t meditate. There are some things I don’t love about the book, but it explains complicated concepts very clearly.

Also, anything by Thich Nhat Hanh, Sylvia Boorstein or Eckhart Tolle.

And if you are looking for guided mediations, check out these from the University of Virginia Mindfulness Center.

 

Some of my favorite meditation posts:

• Meditations on Meditating
  
• Meditation information: umm, what are we doing??
  
• Why you should meditate even if you suck at it
• How my iPhone reminds me to remember
• Stillness training
• Relieving stress by sleeping with the troops

 

Changing the construction

Tags

acceptance, change your mind, judgement, life choices, life lessons, meditation, yoga studio

Why doesn’t yoga always feel this peaceful?

Last year, our yoga studio moved to a new location. It’s in a shiny new building with nice bathrooms and freshly painted walls with no fingerprints on them…

…and it’s also got construction.

Lots of construction.

The space above us is being renovated, so there are drills and hammers and all kinds of loud things I can’t even identify. Sometimes I suspect they are doing shot-put with bowling balls for the hell of it. The yoga studio walls shake in savasana. It’s not ideal.

So, I sigh loudly. And I cringe. And I think This studio is my happy place where I come to finally get quiet and de-stress and why isn’t it all calm like doing yoga on a peaceful beach and DEAR GOD WHY???

The other day, one of my yoga teachers – who, not coincidentally, is one of the most enlightened people I know – commented on the construction. She said it made her crazy for a little while, but she just thought about the person who was on the other side of that drill on this Saturday morning. She sent out a little love and gratitude to them for doing their job, so that she didn’t have to work construction and she could be down here, teaching yoga.

Holy shift, Batman.

I was instantly dragged out of my own whiney issues and with such beautiful simplicity, the situation morphed into something positive. It was an opportunity to practice sending some compassion to another being that I don’t even know.

You know what’s really crazy? I don’t even hear the construction anymore. It was like flipping a switch in my mind. And when someone mentioned that the construction was going to be continuing for the next 6 months – I though, well, that’s not too bad.

Because really? In the grand scope of things, what is 6 months?

A mindful, open-hearted comment like that can cause such a shift in perspective. Instead of getting cranky about the construction and therefore ruining my own yoga practice, I can choose a different choice.

Of course, as with everything with yoga, this has been working beyond the mat, too. Instead of rolling my eyes when the lady in front of me at the grocery store wants to fight about the sale price of pretzels – I can change my mind and just be present and feel my feet on the floor. When I have to get blood drawn for my annual check up, I can change my mind and do some deep breathing instead of tensing up my entire body, and almost passing out for lack of oxygen.

Every moment is a choice and you are always allowed to change your mind. It’s shocking to see how often my initial instinct is to make something harder than it needs to be. So much of life is completely out of my control, it makes sense that I should at least choose to make my responses a little more pleasant. It is clear from experience that sending out bitchy, negative energy to a difficult situation is only going to make it worse. For everyone.

The construction is going to be there, whether I am ruining my yoga practice over it or not.

Not seems like a way better choice.

————–

You might also like:

• Hippos on the floor
  
• If you’re terrified, you’re doing it right: authenticity
  
• Why you should meditate even if you suck at it

My life without yoga

Tags

Bikram yoga, gratitude, health, meditation, Pure Barre, relationships

A little while ago, I bought a Living Social deal for Pure Barre. I’ve gone 7 times now and like it. I just don’t love it. I like feeling a little like a ballerina (since I am so far from one) and I like the fact that it works some muscles that yoga doesn’t get to. I know this for a fact, because after my first class I was limping around for 2 days.

But, for me at least, it’s no yoga.

I get the physical burn, but I don’t get the mental cleanse that I get from the hot room. Maybe some people do get that from Barre, but I never felt it. This was a good reminder that for me – yoga really is special.

It makes me think back to my pre-yoga existence.

In the summer of 2009, I wandered into a Bikram yoga studio with no idea what to expect. I’d done yoga before, but I’d never had a serious practice. It was mostly just a couple of Rodney Yee tapes (yes, actual VHS tapes) that I’d dust off once in a while.

I’d been a meditator for a couple of years, so it seemed to make sense that I would try out yoga. A friend had heard great things about our local Bikram studio and she thought I might like it.

I will forever be indebted to Rachel for this suggestion.

I had just come home from a month of studying at Oxford and it wasn’t all I expected it to be. I felt mildly depressed and mildly fat. I don’t mean to jump on the bandwagon and bash the Brits for their food, but let’s just say the vegetarian-on-a-budget experience was not great.

I needed to get my life back on track. I figured yoga couldn’t hurt.

Now, thinking about life without yoga is just crazy. If I didn’t do yoga, my life would be totally different.

~ I wouldn’t have the support of such a wonderful yogi community.

~ I wouldn’t eat such healthy foods.

~ I wouldn’t have such deep and healing meditations.

~ I would not sleep as well.

~ I would not be as strong, mentally, physical, spiritually.

 ~ I would still have panic attacks.

 ~ I would not have such a strong connection with my husband.

 ~ I would be less comfortable with my body.

~ I would be shorter. (Seriously, I grew an inch.)

~ I would not have had the experience of doing yoga in a foreign country.

~ I would struggle more with depression.

~ I would have continuing back problems from my injury.

So, yeah, some days it’s hard to get myself to the studio. Some days it feels extra hot and humid and the yoga truck runs me over. Some days I feel stiff and my backbend is not as pretty as I want it to be. Some days I just want to sit on the couch and watch re-runs of Top Chef.

But when I look at it all cumulatively, the only logical thing to do is to go put on those tiny shorts.

Namaste.

You might also like:

• You’re not a yogi just because you do yoga
  
• If you’re terrified, you’re doing it right: authenticity
  
• In which I explain the difference between yoga clothes and underwear
  

New post at Elephant Journal: Learning to be still

Tags

acceptance, acting, community, life choices, meditation, mindfulness, Monkey mind, yoga

Hello, yogis!

I hope all of you North American readers had a lovely Labor Day weekend.

I wanted to share my brand new article about meditation, which was just published in Elephant Journal!

Learning to be still

“It’s funny,” my therapist said, “most people get panic attacks about things that will never happen. You get panic attacks about something that happens pretty often.”

I didn’t think it was that funny.

Please click here to read more.

And as always, thank you so much for all your support – it’s never easy talking about anxiety and panic attacks in a public forum. But the open-heartedness I’ve felt here has made it possible for me to share and hopefully, be of use to someone who is dealing with similar challenges.

I hope you enjoy the article.

Peace,

Lisa

You might also like:

• Meditation information: umm, what are we doing??
• Meditations on Meditating
• Why you should meditate even if you suck at it

Yoga retreat recap: Temazcal sweat lodge

Tags

acceptance, Bikram yoga, gratitude, meditation, Surrender, sweat lodge, Tamascal

Temazcal sweat lodge in Tulum, Mexico

“I’m not going to do the sweat lodge.” I said.

“No? Why not?”

“I don’t like the heat and I won’t be able to leave whenever I want to and I don’t want to be in there with all those sweaty people.”

As the words left my mouth, I knew they sounded familiar. They were all excuses that someone had given me for not attending a Bikram yoga class. I only needed to say “I’m not flexible enough” and I would have covered everything.

Well, now I had to do the sweat lodge.

I was at this yoga retreat in Mexico and this was part of the experience, right? Daily yoga, vegan food and transformative spiritual experiences. I had to do it.

Just after sundown, about 18 of us gathered in a circle and were smudged in sage smoke — something that felt both spiritually significant and like it might act as a helpful anti-mosquito aid.

The Temazcal is an ancient Mayan tradition and the hut is representative of the womb. The purpose of this whole thing was to emerge reborn. We all crammed into the dome and sat, with our legs pulled up close, our bodies pressed up against the person next to us. There was no room to stand or move around. You just had to be there and get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Then, the rocks came in. They had been sitting in the blazing fire-pit outside and were glowing red. We invited them in by saying “Welcome, Grandmother” in Spanish as they were shoveled into a pit in the middle of the Temazcal. Then, water infused with herbs was pored over the rocks. The steam rose and filled the Temazcal like a sauna.

It was hot. Really hot. Hotter than a Bikram Yoga hot room. At this point you kind of wanted to yell at the rocks – “get the hell out, Grandma” – but that would have been disrespectful.

Then the chanting began. And the singing. And I think some people had instruments but I couldn’t really see them and didn’t have enough wits about me to even shake a tambourine. The light-headedness took over, but at least the people on either side of me were propping me up so I couldn’t fall face-first into the rocks.

The total Temazcal lasted about two hours but it was separated into four parts or “doors.” After each door we had the chance to leave if we wanted to; I left after the second door, sat out the third door in the cool(er) night air, where I laid in savasana and some sort of tamascal assistant offered me water and played drums over me. After my break, I decided I wanted more of this experience, what ever it was. I went back in for the last door.

We sang about showing appreciation for ancestors and all that had come before us. We sang about acceptance of ourselves and letting go of anything from the past that didn’t serve us. We sang about our gratitude for the whole world and something about intergalactic eagles that I really didn’t understand but I was totally digging.

I did feel that when I crawled out, sweaty and dirty and delirious, I was reborn. The whole experience for me was about surrender. It was so similar to my early experiences with Bikram yoga. I was so apprehensive about the whole thing, but the process gave me the chance to let go – of my fear, my anxiety, my baggage. We all went and jumped in the ocean to complete the ritual and celebrate in the waves.

It absolutely felt cleansing and I really do feel changed by the experience, even weeks later. There was a shift. Something happened, but I can’t quite tell you how or why.

But, I definitely left something behind in that hot, smokey hut – something I just didn’t need anymore. It mixed with my sweat and my grateful tears and it melted into the sand and disappeared forever.

You might also like:

• Just unroll your mat: thoughts on motivation
  
• You’re not a yogi just because you do yoga
  
• Why you should meditate even if you suck at it
  

The day of Grace

Tags

acceptance, Grace, gratitude, guru, health, meditation, spirituality

Two years ago today, J and I walked into the SPCA, just to “look.”

We walked out with my guru.

She was a malnourished little mutt with claws so long they wrapped around and dug into the pads of her feet. She didn’t know how to play. The sound of clapping made her cower. She had terrible nightmares that left her snarling and whimpering in her sleep. Life had not been easy for this dog.

Even with that history, no one in my life has taught me more about stillness, joy, acceptance, love and indeed, grace, than Grace.

We almost didn’t adopt her. The information sheet hanging on the door of her cage read “senior.” We couldn’t imagine enduring the loss of her so soon. But one look into her blue eye, and then her brown eye, and we knew that whatever time we had with her was worth it.

We joyfully surrendered to the unknown.

When I stand in the middle of my yoga mat, I often take a moment of stillness to devote my practice to Grace. I want to show my gratitude for all that she has taught me about getting over the stuff that I hold on to from my own past. She is a master class is being present. She is the living example of everything that I try to access by bringing yoga into my life.

Happy birthday, Grace. Thank you for finding us.

You might also like:

• Life lessons from a dog: luxury
  
• Life lessons from a dog: gratitude
  
• Life lessons from a dog: shifting light
  

Why you should meditate even if you suck at it

Tags

meditation, Monkey mind, spirituality

Because it’s better than watching another episode of House Hunters International.

Because even three seconds of stillness is better than no seconds of stillness.

Because sitting down to meditate sets the intention – and intention is everything.

Because little by little, your concentration will improve.

Because you feel incredible after.

Because you probably don’t suck at it.

Because science (and Buddha) says it’s good for you.

Because it’s important to be alone for a little while each day.

Because it’s good to occasionally disconnect from email, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

Because there is a great relief in stopping the deluge of thoughts, or at least realizing they are just thoughts – repetitive, unhelpful thoughts – and not the real you.

Because you’ll find that when you meditate, mindfulness creeps into the rest of your life. You will remember to breathe deeply and be in the moment as you are moving through your day. I believe that is the whole purpose of life – to wake up and be truly present for it.

Because once in a while you can hear that little voice deep inside you, the one that tells you the truth about everything and guides you in the right direction. But you have to be very quiet to hear it.

Because it’s like brushing your teeth. It might not be fun or sexy but it’s going to make the rest of your life, and the lives of those around you, much better.

So for all those reasons and a million more, I’ll be meditating today.

—————–

You might also like:

• Meditation information: setting up a space
  
• Meditation information: umm, what are we doing??
  
• Om Mani Padme – wait, what was that?
  

Benched: what happens when you can’t do yoga?

Tags

acceptance, Bikram yoga, health, meditation, yoga

You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state.

~ Sharon Gannon

I’m under doctor’s orders to not go to yoga.

This is an unfortunate development.

I mentioned a while ago that my ankle was bothering me. Well, 5 weeks later, it’s not any better, so clearly my strategy of doing yoga and just “going easy” isn’t working.

So, I’m benched for a while.

I need to rest my ankle as much as possible over the next couple of weeks. I thought about being rebellious and ignoring my doctor, but the truth is that I want this ankle thing to be over. It’s better to take a hiatus and let it heal, rather than stubbornly keep going to yoga while I prolong the issue.

But this brings up another matter. I’m kinda hooked on yoga. When I don’t go, of course my body gets stiff but – it’s much more about my mind. A dear friend once told me that Bikram helps her to “sweat out the crazy.” Amen to that.

It’s easy for me to panic about not going to yoga and resign myself to the idea that if I can’t do my regular practice that I’m destined to be stressed and anxious.

But that’s a cop-out.

Peace, compassion and patience are all things that I am capable of — the yoga just helps get me there. Even without the postures or the hot room, I have the capacity for a still mind. I can control the crazy. I just have to work a little harder for it.

So, on my hiatus, I’ll be working on other things that calm my mind and comfort my soul. I’ll be sticking closely to my daily meditation schedule — at least 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night. I’ll be trying my best to continue that mindfulness during the day. (And yes, I’m doing a very light home practice that doesn’t put any weight on my ankle, let’s just not mention that to my doctor.)

I miss yoga terribly, but this is one of those things that is annoying in the short term but beneficial in the long term.

I’m working on my acceptance and knowing that my practice will always be there for me. I’m trying to remember that yoga is my natural state.

You might also like:

• Meditation information: setting up a space
• If you’re terrified, you’re doing it right: authenticity
• Just now now: sunset stillness

A time to be heard and a time to be silent

Tags

Bikram yoga, community, meditation, silent class

Happy election day! I hope everyone will get out and vote today. Apparently, according to the Tibetan calendar November 6th is considered an auspicious day when our positive and negative actions are multiplied ten million times. Sounds like election day to me!

And although this is a very emotionally charged year, please be kind to one another, regardless of political affiliations.

And that’s as political as I’m going to get. Now let’s talk about yoga.

Recently, we celebrated the birthday of my friend and yoga teacher, Madelyn. Her boyfriend put together a surprise celebration for her – a silent class!

About a dozen of us yogis showed up at the studio when there was not a regular class scheduled. We got all set up in the hot room and wrote celebratory things on the mirror.

Then, we waited for Madelyn to be lured to the studio under false pretenses and we surprised her!

The class was totally silent, which was something I’d never experienced before. I’d been to classes where the dialogue was dramatically reduced and the teacher only said things like “half-way though” or “change” but this was TOTALLY silent. We had a teacher there, who kept time and did the practice while everyone else just followed. She was not on the podium, she was just part of the tight little cluster of yogis near the front of the room.

It was super cool.

It required me to rely on my own instincts with the practice. I made my own corrections and really watched myself in the mirror. Yet, I also felt deeply connected to the other people in the room. I released out of a posture when I could feel that they had moved. The group energy felt more connected than in any other class I’ve ever had.

At first, the meditation aspect was more difficult without the dialogue to anchor my attention into the room. However, when I got that in-the-moment vibe…it was absolutely divine in the silence. It was magic.

After all the blissed out posturing, we enjoyed a bit of a potluck — including a little bubbly, which goes directly to your head after yoga! It was a beautiful afternoon and I am so grateful for my yoga family.

This was totally my kind of party.

Do you have any experience with silent/almost silent classes? What did you think of them?

You might also like:

• Can yogis still be fun?
• Yoga Dreams
• Happy halloween: here’s a spider story

What is Bikram yoga?

Tags

Bikram yoga, community, meditation, yoga beginner

You’re never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick

to start from scratch and begin again.”

– Bikram Choudhury

WordPress has this cool feature where you can see the terms that people plug into search engines to find your site. I’ve been noticing a lot of people coming here who seem to be Bikram-curious. They want to know what it is and how/if it works.

But by far the most common search term is:

Can Bikram yoga kill me?

So, I’ve decided to answer that directly:

Yes. Yes it can.

Anything can kill you – but fried foods, a sedentary lifestyle or a runaway bus are much more likely to end your life than yoga. So don’t be scared.

Before I attempt to write something defining the practice let me say this – defining Bikram is a lot like explaining love. Everyone is going to have their own interpretation of what it is and what it means to them. This is just mine, in a nutshell. If you have things to add, please feel free to comment at the end of this post.

In my experience, Bikram yoga has three parts. Exercise, meditation and community. Except…not really at all in that order.

Exercise

Bikram yoga is a series of 26 postures (poses) and 2 breathing exercises which are done in a specific sequence. Class is 90 minutes long in a room that is heated to about 105 degrees. We practice in the heat so that we can safely get a deeper stretch and detoxify the body through sweat.

The class is led by a teacher who will describe the poses using a set dialogue, so the class will be almost exactly the same, every time, regardless of whether you take a class in Miami or Rome. The teacher will not do the postures, he or she will keep an eye on everyone and sometimes walk around the room to offer help or adjustments. Just look around at other students if you get confused about what to do and sit down on your mat if you get tired or overwhelmed.

See my specific posts for info on what to wear, drinking water, sitting out a posture and other newbie tips.

Meditation

Bikram yoga is a 90 minute moving meditation. The goal is to use our bodies in such a way that we can begin to still our minds. Taking the postures step by step, focusing on the alignment and the proper form can stop our mind from spinning. We can ignore the rest of the world for that hour and a half, and just concentrate on our breath and being in the moment.

Between each pose in the floor series, we will go into savasana, or “dead body pose.” This is 20 seconds to be still and focus on the breath. You might want to fidget and flop around but stillness is very powerful, just try to quiet the body and mind. (Savasana is also known as the hardest pose in yoga.)

This is a wonderful way to practice compassion. Our bodies are different each day, each class, and yoga teaches us to be accepting and grateful for what we are capable of today. It’s not a competition and no one gets a prize. You win just by showing up.

Those of us who have been practicing yoga for a while tend to find that increased patience, acceptance and gratitude are attributes that follow us off the mat and into the rest of our lives. It’s helped me to manage panic attacks and anxiety and has just made me a happier person. That’s what keeps me coming back…the physical fitness just tends to be a nice bonus.

Community

There is a reason that Bikram yogis don’t do this alone in our own living rooms. For one thing, we couldn’t afford the heating bills, but mostly it’s because we love the yogi community. I happen to be the most introverted, hermit-like person that has ever walked the earth and even I love my Bikram yoga community.

That’s why there is just one type of class – for beginners and experienced yogis alike. We learn from each other. We feel compassion when someone else is having a hard class and accept support when we are struggling. We share our triumphs and celebrate our progress. We talk about why we love this yoga and motivate each other to keep coming, even on the days it’s really damn hard to get to class.

But when you don’t feel social, when you just want to walk into class and not talk to anyone and just do your yoga- there is total support for that, too. This is your class. Your 90 minutes to take care of yourself, whatever that means today.

Yoga means to yoke together. Connecting mind and body, heart and lungs, the individual with the community, the spirit with the divine. It’s about remembering that we are not separate, not alone – and we never were.

So, dear people who want to try Bikram; don’t be nervous.

It won’t kill you. It might just show you how to live.

You might also like:

• Why I will do Bikram yoga until the day I die
  
• Can yogis still be fun?
  
• Letting go in the back row: when yoga habits hinder