Tag Archives: Love

My Bikram buddy

22 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by in Family, Health, Yoga

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Husband and I will be celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary this weekend and it’s got me feeling all mushy.

We’ve been together for 11 years but only in the last 3 years have we embarked on this amazing spiritual and physical journey called yoga. It’s done wonderful and unexpected things for our relationship.

I think we are more patient with each other now. More present. More forgiving and understanding. We are better friends to each other. We let things go and have more fun.

We had it good before, but this practice has really built on that foundation.

I’d love to be able to explain exactly why our Bikram practice has changed our relationship, but it’s fairly intangible. Let’s just chalk it up to yet another crazy/amazing yoga side effect.

I want it noted for the record; I started doing Bikram yoga first. I think I attended two classes before he shocked me by saying he’d like to try it. From Day 1, his Awkward Pose has been way better than mine – which is totally annoying – but otherwise it’s super great to have a Bikram Buddy.

Here are some reasons why:

  • We have shared goals for the future… like full camel.
  • We can make dialogue-based jokes about “hands palms” or “Japanese Ham Sandwich” and we think we are hilarious.
  • I can suggest spending the day in a posture clinic/doing advanced/watching regional yoga championships AFTER a 90 minute class, without having my spouse hand me a pamphlet about how to get out of a cult.
  • We use matching yoga towels.
  • It’s awesome to hear “Nice toe stands, Joneses.”
  • We can giggle about the taste of coconut water.
  • Sometimes I need someone to hold my hand in final savasana.
  • It’s fun to try to knock his arms down in Full Locust, which brings some much needed levity to the spine strengthening series.
  • When he stands at the front door holding a mat and towel and says, “Really? You are not coming to class?” it is very persuasive.
  • I like to get/give a supportive look between standing series and the floor series, as I’m collapsing to the ground.
  • He reminds me that it’s two hours before class so I should eat something.
  • We can split a half bottle of wine at dinner and get totally wasted.
  • We do vacation yoga.
  • We are both bendy. That’s just fun.

There are lots of other non-yoga things that rock about him…but listing all those would just get obnoxious.

Thanks for the past 11 years, Jem. Let’s do more of that.

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Just now now: the basic needs of the heart

16 Friday Dec 2011

Posted by in Living

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Just now now: a photo representing the past week; a visual gratitude journal, of sorts.

I was talking with a friend this week about the way relationships change over time. It can be a painful process, but a good reminder that nothing is permanent. It got me thinking of The Needs of the Heart that I read about somewhere. They are:

  • attention
  • affection
  • appreciation
  • acceptance

It’s interesting to look at those four needs in all of your relationships — romantic or otherwise. Are you giving them? Are you getting them?

I realized that in my happy and healthy relationships, all four are in abundance. My not-so-great relationships have at least one of the four missing. Is it true that you get what you give? If I offer more acceptance, might I get more in return?

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