Just doing yoga isn’t enough to make you a spiritual being.
I was in class the other day with an experienced yogi from a different tradition. It was her first Bikram yoga class and from the moment she walked in it was clear she wanted to prove she was beyond this. She rolled her eyes at instructions and when asked to correct her grip she simply refused. She did completely different postures when she didn’t like the ones the class was doing. She kept glaring at the teacher defiantly as she stood sideways on her mat.
I tried my best to focus on my own practice but the sharp, loud sighs from directly behind me were hard to ignore.
After class as we all sat, happily sweaty on benches in the lobby, this student got in my teacher’s face, pointed her finger inches from her eyes and yelled something nasty at her before storming out and slamming the yoga studio door.
It’s OK if you don’t like this practice. It’s OK if you come from other traditions and think this one is bullshit because it’s different from yours. But when you go to a yoga studio, you are agreeing – for 90 minutes – to play by their rules, even if they flatly contradict the way you learned it. (I’ve gone to many yoga studios that use props and forbid you to lock a knee. It felt weird, but I did it.)
But mostly, there is no excuse for treating another human being like that.
It’s not just the cute shorts that make someone a yogi. It’s the ability to embrace the present moment, even if the grip in Standing Bow is not what you are used to. It’s the ability to feel compassion and see value in things you might not completely understand. It’s about making others feel that they are seen and valued.
Spiritual work is hard work; work that is frustrating and often less than rewarding. You can feel like Sisyphus pushing that damn rock up the mountain.
If it were easy, everyone would be walking around like Thich Nhat Hanh.
An awesome Balancing Stick is meaningless if you are a jerk. It’s great to let asana practice be your first step towards a kinder, gentler, more empathetic and understanding version of your higher self. Just don’t let it be the last.
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Just here. Just now. 
What horrible behavior. I hope that the teacher wasn’t upset by her. It stinks that her bad behavior disrupted an entire class. Hopefully she won’t come back to your studio.
Excellent post with many great points.
Thanks so much. Luckily – she was just visiting from out of town!
Re-blogging! Namaste.
Thank you! I always appreciate a reblog!! Namaste.
Reblogged this on Travels With Slippers, or The Life of A Single Woman Who Prefers It That Way and commented:
Worth a read… it’s not just the yoga, it’s you.
I have experienced similar in my Bikram classes but nothing to this highly narcissistic degree. The yoga instructors ask anyone who can do advanced Bikram postures to please do so in the back of the room so they don’t confuse new yogis or compromise the energy of the room. After my first practice, I was talking to my sister about my experience. She called me a yogi that day! I didn’t feel comfortable with it and it took me several practices before I considered myself a yogi. It took me even longer to be comfortable with saying or responding to the salutation “Namaste!” Namaste! ~Paula
Thanks for your comment. I’m so glad you got comfortable with Namaste — I think it is such a beautiful concept! Thanks for reading and namaste! 🙂
Thank you! I really love this post! I am going to reblog it on my blog, with my own story of rude summer yoga guests on Cape Cod! 🙂
Thanks so much for the reblog!! I’m glad you liked it. Namaste!
Yoga or not, a troglodyte is a troglodyte.
When I’m embarking on a new adventure/class, I do research. Can’t believe that she had no idea what kind of experience/poses she would be doing. Hmmm, troglodytes probably aren’t into research though…
Troglodyte is my new favorite word. Thank you. 🙂
How rude! The heat must’ve got to her! ;o)
That heat can do crazy things to people!
Yep, it’s unfortunate, but there are crazy people everywhere. I’ve got my own lovely stories to tell about such crazy “yogis” (see http://simacrosstheocean.blogspot.com/2012/06/update.html). Saturday morning, after the 8am class in the ladies changing rooms, as I was bending down to get out my conditioner for the rude woman who barked out of the shower “Whose conditioner can I use?”, she started cussing me out because I didn’t hand it to her fast enough. This continued for 5 minutes with her verbally attacking me and me, confused, in my happy yoga-coma, stammering once in a while: “But I was trying to… I was getting it from my bag…” just to be interrupted by her cussing me out. Great way to start the weekend.
I guess I am still not over the shock of this verbal attack that came out of nowhere
And while of course these people (your example and also my specimen) need the yoga the most, I really really wonder how long it will take them to take a good look in the mirror. If years of yoga hasn’t done the trick yet, I don’t know WHAT would help them become the teeniest bit self-aware. Sad, sad examples of “yogis”.
That is bananas!! I really think that Bikram brings out some sort of panic, “fight or flight” response. Unfortunately, some people chose fight!! Your blog is lovely, thanks for sharing!
Thank you!
I would love to have shard this quote with her: “The highest form of spiritual practice is self observation without judgement.” That might have served her well before attacking another. I saw a situation play out at a Bikram studio b/w student and teacher that was so unpleasant that i intervened – I couldn’t handle watching such disrespect.
“I couldn’t handle watching such disrespect.” — I’ve felt that way before. Wonder why people think it’s ok to attack the teacher of a class they CHOSE to attend. The quote is great.
Hi Simmm and Lisa – it is hard to see a student being rude/mean to a teacher who delivered a wonderful class. I try and repeat the quote to myself whenever I remember – it is by Swami Kripalu 🙂
Beautiful quote. Thanks for sharing it. It’s so hard to have someone act that way in such a sacred place, isn’t it??
Yeah! What you said!
Thanks, lady! 🙂 xoxoxo
Yoga is yoga. When in Rome…..!!! (love your site Lisa)
Exactly!! Thanks so much, Jon!
Okay, Lisa… I finally did a yoga class. It hurt. Sweat my ass off. Thankful I’m not on a high fiber diet. But I’ll be honest… This particular class wasn’t terribly fulfilling. Don’t get me wrong, I loved going through the motions. I definitely felt ‘sturdier’ after class. I felt good. But this was at a gym. The teacher went through everything so fast, and I’m just trying to learn this stuff. By I think I’m going to have to go to an actual beginners class to really get myself rolling at this. I enjoyed it, but I think I’d just like to have someone guide me for now. Anyway, just wanted you to know I’m finally doing it. Hug your husband for me!
You can’t see me right now, but I’m standing up and applauding for you. Awesome. Seriously, going to your first class is a big step and major accomplishment.
I will say that not all yoga classes are created equal. You need to find the space, style and teacher that work for you. Some gym yoga classes are great, but you might be able to get better “beginner” attention if you go to a yoga studio. And some styles are fast – likely to be called Vinyasa or flow. Personally, I don’t care for those much. I prefer to get into a posture and hold it for a while. 🙂
I’m thrilled to hear that you might check out other classes. It takes a while to figure out what you like. Keep me posted.
I’m off to hug my husband on your behalf.
~L