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We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.

~Marcel Proust

When I was a kid, I used to get terrible growing pains. They would shoot down my legs and settle themselves in all their aching glory right behind my kneecaps. I would hobble around in pain.

Since I only made it to a not-so-towering 5’3, I’m not sure why the pains were so bad. But I recognize that I still get them, just in a slightly different form.

I get overwhelmed by the amount of tragedy in our world. I try to see the best in people and remain positive about the state of our society, but that doesn’t come easy. I try to think that the good guys will win and that love conquers all and everything happens for a reason – but sometimes all I can do is curl up with a heating pad and pout. Just like I did when I was 13 years old.

I simply have to wait these moments out. I wait for the aching to subside, until I can get a handle on things and get off the couch. I’d like to think that this is indicating some major moment of spiritual growth, something that will make me grow tall enough to see over the suffering to the greater purpose – but I just don’t know.

I am grateful that I have a network of other sensitive souls, people who know those pains well and who understand the aching for humanity. They can offer their own remedies and perspectives. Sometimes, a hug is all that is required.

Because there is no explanation good enough. I try to be all spiritually enlightened and say something that sounds like something the Buddha would say but some days I remain spiritually petite and convinced I’ll never grow past my 5’3.

Somedays, the world is just dumb.

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