Dear K: thoughts for the yoga-curious

Tags

beginner, inflexible

A while ago, a friend asked me some questions about getting started with a yoga practice.

I’m not sure if she expected the impassioned diatribe that her email evoked.

Her concerns were pretty universal; I was worried about all these things when I first started, too. I’ve heard them many times from all kinds of people. When I say I do yoga, they say they would like to try it, but…

So, here is what I said to my friend. Maybe this can be useful to someone else.

Dear K,

Let me address your concerns.

“I am unbendy.”

Yes – that’s because you don’t do yoga, yet. Yoga is where you go to learn to get bendy. When someone tells me they can’t do yoga because they are not flexible, that’s like saying you can’t take piano lessons because you can’t play Mozart. As you go, you get bendy. I had a really hard time touching my toes when I started. There will be people in class that are bendier than you, but that’s okay. They were unbendy when they started.

“My body hurts.”

Absolutely. But the thing with finding a great yoga class/teacher is that it is a very safe way to get yourself moving. It’s still a hell of a workout, so in the beginning you are going to be as sore as you would be in a Body Pump class. But you’ll get strong as hell, too. When I walked into a yoga studio at the age of 30, I didn’t know it would lead to being pain-free for the first time in almost 20 years. Yeah, it ached a little getting there, but it was so worth it.

“I feel ridiculous.”

I love this point because it is honest and so very important. Yoga deals with the body but it is so much more about managing the mind. It’s a moving meditation and everything that you need to deal with emotionally is going to come up. You are doing yoga so that you can let go and kill your ego. Everyone in the class, regardless of how skinny or bendy or cute they look in their short-shorts, had a first class where they felt lost and scared and incompetent. It’s just part of the deal. The yoga studio is where you learn to stop being so hard on yourself, stop judging yourself and just be in the moment and do the best you can. Ditch the desire to be the best yogi in the room. I’ve been doing this 4 years, 4 times a week and work really hard at it – I’m nowhere near the best in the room. But that is not the point in the slightest. It’s your own time, your own workout, your own mediation to deal with your own stuff.

Yogis tend to be a very non-judgmental group. They are usually just thrilled that you are interested in learning about the practice that they love. No one expects you to be good when you are a beginner. (And you are considered a beginner for like, 10 years.)

I’ve struggled through classes – right after my dog died, right after a long flight and right after I made some unfortunate food/drink choices. And sometimes my classes are really hard for no discernible reason.  But I’ve always felt like my class has embraced me and it was totally fine, because we’ve all been there. No one wondered why I wasn’t doing a better backbend or why I sat down so early. We do yoga in a group and love that communal energy but it’s a totally individual practice.

Yoga has stopped my panic attacks, fixed issues lingering from my broken back and strengthened my marriage. I will be eternally grateful to the practice.

So, take a deep breath, get out there and play around with different styles. Give it at least three classes before you decided if you like it. Give yourself permission to fall down and look silly and be new. You deserve that.

With all my love (to all you budding yogis)

~Lisa

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What is Bikram yoga?

Tags

Bikram yoga, community, meditation, yoga beginner

You’re never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick

to start from scratch and begin again.”

– Bikram Choudhury

WordPress has this cool feature where you can see the terms that people plug into search engines to find your site. I’ve been noticing a lot of people coming here who seem to be Bikram-curious. They want to know what it is and how/if it works.

But by far the most common search term is:

Can Bikram yoga kill me?

So, I’ve decided to answer that directly:

Yes. Yes it can.

Anything can kill you – but fried foods, a sedentary lifestyle or a runaway bus are much more likely to end your life than yoga. So don’t be scared.

Before I attempt to write something defining the practice let me say this – defining Bikram is a lot like explaining love. Everyone is going to have their own interpretation of what it is and what it means to them. This is just mine, in a nutshell. If you have things to add, please feel free to comment at the end of this post.

In my experience, Bikram yoga has three parts. Exercise, meditation and community. Except…not really at all in that order.

Exercise

Bikram yoga is a series of 26 postures (poses) and 2 breathing exercises which are done in a specific sequence. Class is 90 minutes long in a room that is heated to about 105 degrees. We practice in the heat so that we can safely get a deeper stretch and detoxify the body through sweat.

The class is led by a teacher who will describe the poses using a set dialogue, so the class will be almost exactly the same, every time, regardless of whether you take a class in Miami or Rome. The teacher will not do the postures, he or she will keep an eye on everyone and sometimes walk around the room to offer help or adjustments. Just look around at other students if you get confused about what to do and sit down on your mat if you get tired or overwhelmed.

See my specific posts for info on what to wear, drinking water, sitting out a posture and other newbie tips.

Meditation

Bikram yoga is a 90 minute moving meditation. The goal is to use our bodies in such a way that we can begin to still our minds. Taking the postures step by step, focusing on the alignment and the proper form can stop our mind from spinning. We can ignore the rest of the world for that hour and a half, and just concentrate on our breath and being in the moment.

Between each pose in the floor series, we will go into savasana, or “dead body pose.” This is 20 seconds to be still and focus on the breath. You might want to fidget and flop around but stillness is very powerful, just try to quiet the body and mind. (Savasana is also known as the hardest pose in yoga.)

This is a wonderful way to practice compassion. Our bodies are different each day, each class, and yoga teaches us to be accepting and grateful for what we are capable of today. It’s not a competition and no one gets a prize. You win just by showing up.

Those of us who have been practicing yoga for a while tend to find that increased patience, acceptance and gratitude are attributes that follow us off the mat and into the rest of our lives. It’s helped me to manage panic attacks and anxiety and has just made me a happier person. That’s what keeps me coming back…the physical fitness just tends to be a nice bonus.

Community

There is a reason that Bikram yogis don’t do this alone in our own living rooms. For one thing, we couldn’t afford the heating bills, but mostly it’s because we love the yogi community. I happen to be the most introverted, hermit-like person that has ever walked the earth and even I love my Bikram yoga community.

That’s why there is just one type of class – for beginners and experienced yogis alike. We learn from each other. We feel compassion when someone else is having a hard class and accept support when we are struggling. We share our triumphs and celebrate our progress. We talk about why we love this yoga and motivate each other to keep coming, even on the days it’s really damn hard to get to class.

But when you don’t feel social, when you just want to walk into class and not talk to anyone and just do your yoga- there is total support for that, too. This is your class. Your 90 minutes to take care of yourself, whatever that means today.

Yoga means to yoke together. Connecting mind and body, heart and lungs, the individual with the community, the spirit with the divine. It’s about remembering that we are not separate, not alone – and we never were.

So, dear people who want to try Bikram; don’t be nervous.

It won’t kill you. It might just show you how to live.

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What I wish I had known as a Bikram yoga beginner

Tags

Bikram yoga, health, meditation

There are the classic do’s and don’ts that every hot room newbie hears, as they nervously prepare for their first class. It’s usually about setting up, drinking water and where to leave their sweaty rental towel.

But the practice of Bikram yoga is full of subtleties that I wish I had known when I got started. Here are just a few of them:

~ Sweat is sexy. I know you think it’s gross. But it’s so not. Sweat means passion. Dedication. Hard work. Health. It’s hot. Seriously.

~ Don’t worry about getting into better shape or getting more flexible before you come to your first class. We were all kinds of broken down messes when we first came. Fitness and flexibility come from going to class. Just start where you are.

~ Don’t set up in the front row on your first class, but stagger your mat so that you can see yourself in the mirror. You don’t like to look in a mirror, you say? You cringe at the sight of yourself in work-out clothes? That is exactly why you are here. It’s not to get the cute yoga ass you’ve heard so much about; that’s just a side effect. You are here to learn to love your reflection. We all had that critical voice in our head when we got here; you are here to kill that voice. You are here so that you can look in the mirror and smile kindly at yourself, like you are an old friend. You are here so that someday you can look yourself in the eyes and bow to your own grace and strength.

~ You will learn that us Bikram yogis love our bodies. Not that we are all perfect, by any means, but we love the incredible things that our forms are capable of. We treat them with respect and pride. This means we are not afraid to wear the smallest yoga clothes possible and we’re fine with nudity in the change room. We gave up shame around class #5. You will, too.

~ Savasana really is the hardest posture we do. When you are in camel, you might think I am full of it. But really, it’s savasana. It’s brutal to be still, in both mind and body, but that is OK. This is a lifelong practice.

~ The postures build on themselves; there will be a first step, then a next step. If you feel too challenged by a posture, go back to an earlier step and work on mastering that. Substituting different yoga postures or crunches or wind-sprints does not impress us. It makes us worry you will hurt yourself. You can take an improv class on a different night.

~ When you begin, you might think Bikram is all about the work-out because it’s all you can get your mind around. Be reassured that this practice is about embracing stillness, managing your ego and getting control of your monkey mind. It’s a profoundly spiritual meditation practice – it just takes a few classes to get your mind to shut the hell up long enough to realize that.

~ I promise you that even though it is all you can think about – leaving the room will not help you. I’ve seen several people pass out, all of them were attempting to leave the room when they went down. Sit or lie down on your mat and let the community energy and the watchful eye of the instructor support you. Breathe.

~ Get ready. If you decide to stick with this, get ready for a community more supportive that you could ever imagine. Get ready for huge challenges and more huge rewards. Get ready to cry in postures because you never thought it was possible that you could ever do them. Get ready to crave time in the hot room. Get ready to wonder what you ever did without it. Get ready for the yoga to change your body, mind and relationships in ways that will shock you.

Get ready.

Then get in there.

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Solicited advice: water and towels in a Bikram yoga class

Tags

Bikram yoga, health, meditation

A reader recently asked me what I thought about using towels and drinking water in a Bikram class and I thought it was a very worthy topic to cover in a post.

Let me preface all this by saying that I am not a yoga teacher. (And yes, I am interested in teaching someday but for now, I am too busy/cheap/scared to spend 9 weeks at training with the Boss.) I am a mere yoga nerd. The thoughts below reflect the way we roll at my studio. Undoubtedly, people do it differently in different places, so take it for whatever you think it’s worth.

Water.
I am a big believer in the idea that if you hydrate properly before and after class, you won’t want any water in class. There are all kinds of reasons why I don’t drink in class but my main one is pretty straightforward – drinking water in class makes me want to puke. Put water, especially cold water, in your belly and do a forward bend, it is likely to come out your nose. I’ve seen it happen. I wish I hadn’t.

When you get thirsty, chances are good that you are not breathing properly. Your body is giving you the signal for thirst, because it knows it can get oxygen from the water, since you are not giving it enough from the air. If you feel thirsty, first try focusing on getting your breath under control. If that doesn’t do it – sip, never chug.

Towels.
Sweat is the body’s way of cooling itself; when the water evaporates from your skin it cools you. If you towel the sweat off, you are fighting your body’s natural process and the sweat is just going to come back. You are forcing your body to exert extra energy generating more sweat and your skin’s temperature is going to rise when it is dry. So, if you are cold and not working very hard – towel off. Otherwise, leave the towel on the mat.

So, that is the physical part of all of it, which is important but less interesting than the other part. Let’s get to the good stuff:

A yoga class is a moving meditation.

Anything that distracts you – and others – from the practice should be eliminated. Period.

Yoga means “to unite” and pretty much every faith on the planet agrees that union with the divine can only be accomplished when the mind enters a place of stillness. The postures were designed thousands of years ago to help calm the mind. There is no “wipe your face with the towel” pose. There is a reason for that. Getting my brain to shut the hell up is near impossible anyway, but if I give it optional activities like drinking water or playing with a towel? Forget it.

The fifth of the 8 Limbs of Yoga is called Pratyahara and it deals with getting a grip on your senses. We tend to trust them a little too much. They tell us we are thirsty or itchy and we immediately react.

But watch what happens when you don’t jump to a reaction. The sensation fades away. That’s because while you thought it was your senses, it was actually just your mind being bored or annoyed or wanting to leave the room. Your mind loves distractions and jumping around because that’s what minds do best. When you learn to sit with that feeling and be the observer, your mind becomes the servant rather than the master – and that’s how it can be most useful.

Is it the worst thing in the world to sip water or wipe your sweat? Of course not. But it is not helpful to your body and downright detrimental to your meditation. Not to mention the meditation of those around you.

Water, towels, watches, heart monitors, cell phones, that cute guy in the back row – leave it all alone for those 90 minutes. Nothing extra, no wasted movement.

Be with your Self. Enjoy that union.

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Sitting down in Bikram yoga: what it says about you

Tags

Bikram yoga, gratitude, health, meditation

See this mat? Sometimes you should sit down on it.

There have been a lot of newbies at my yoga studio lately (thanks, Living Social!) and I’ve noticed that no matter how many times they are told that they should sit down if they feel overwhelmed during class, they are totally reluctant to do so.

I’ve been practicing four times a week for almost 3 years and I still sit out a posture when I am feeling spent. The newbies seem to think sitting out makes them weak.

That’s wrong.

Sitting out means you are respectful: you are respecting yourself, but you are also being respectful to others. If you don’t sit when you need to, you are probably pacing, throwing up, passing out, guzzling water, fanning yourself or running out of the room. All those things are much more distracting and rude to others than sitting quietly on your mat.

Sitting out means you are brave: sure, most people around you will be doing postures but you are not a lemming. You are individual enough to choose a different path when you need to. In this instance – screw the 98%.

Sitting out means you are present: you are practicing today. What you did or didn’t do yesterday is irrelevant. It’s gone. Let it go.

Sitting out means you are connected to your body: you are listening. You are not just bulldozing your way through because you think it makes you look cool.

Sitting out means you are humble: yoga is about honesty and killing the ego. When Bikram tells us to get in the hot room and “kill your self” this is what he is talking about. The true Self (with a capital S) would never worry about something so silly as this. So get over your self (with a small s) and sit your ass down.

Whether you are a newbie or an experienced practitioner, never ever let your pride keep you from hitting the mat when you need to. Of course, if you could do Trikanasana, but you would rather just chill on your mat like you are at a really humid picnic – that’s weak. But that’s generally not why we come to class.

When you do sit, sit proudly. Don’t crumple up in a ball or try to hide behind your towel. Sit tall. Get back on top of your breath. Meditate. Be grateful for this opportunity to sit on your mat and be grateful for that moment when you can get back up to join the rest of the community.

In those kinds of moments, you are truly living the practice.

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Bikram yoga for panic attacks

Tags

Bikram yoga, life lessons, meditation, panic attacks

I’ve heard several people say that they don’t like Bikram yoga because it’s not meditative or spiritual. I suppose on the surface it looks like boot camp, but it is not purely physical; it is an incredibly deep meditative practice.

I get panic attacks. I have been carried out of restaurants, bars, house parties and art galleries because I am a hyperventilating, sobbing mess. For a time they were so debilitating it was difficult to leave my house.

I thought Bikram might help me manage stress but I was very nervous about trying it. It involved going to a place I had never been and staying in a room for 90 minutes with people I didn’t know. This is a terrifying prospect for someone with panics like mine. I literally had an entire therapy session dedicated to discussing if I could survive my first Bikram yoga class.

I did survive. In fact, I thrived.

It is all well and good to meditate in a candle lit room with soothing music and people using gentle voices. It does feel great and I enjoy those types yoga classes, too. But they didn’t help me with my reality. I need to learn to relax when my brain throws some serious, hardcore panic at me.

Bikram has trained me to breathe and meditate when I am trapped in a room that is really bright, a million degrees, packed with people who smell and a teacher who is loud. That’s why I can now survive life in my head.

When I panic, it is bright and loud and I’m dizzy and nauseous. I can’t run away from that situation, either, but that’s fine because this yoga has taught me that there are options beyond fight or flight.

I rarely get panic attacks anymore. I have the same stress and the same triggers. The panics rise up and threaten me; they insist that I can’t breathe and I am going to die immediately. Then, I hear my teacher:

Meet resistance with breath. – Lizzie.

Don’t meet panic with frustration or defeat or anger. Just take a moment. Then, I hear another teacher:

This is going to hurt like hell. It’s O.K. Don’t be scared.  – Kirk.

I know I can do it, I can make it through this just like I make it through class four times a week. Then, I hear another teacher:

Deep breath in. Let it out slow. – Amy

And that’s exactly what I do.

The hot room is my training ground for the real world. Those instructions – seemingly about my physical practice – are the deepest, most spiritually profound lessons I could imagine.

Maybe it looks like boot camp to you, but to me, it’s church.

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Why I will do Bikram yoga until the day I die

Tags

Bikram yoga

Yeah, I know. That’s a big statement. Especially for me.

I can have some bandwagon tendencies. I jump on and ride along for about six months until a more interesting wagon rolls on by.

This is different. Bikram is a keeper. Yoga is a lifelong practice for me and if I ever stop doing it, someone needs to kick my ass back on to the mat because I’ve temporarily lost my mind.

The spiritual aspects of the practice are infused so strongly into my life, that sometimes I forget to pay homage to the physical piece.

When I was 11 years old, I broke my back. I crushed three vertebrae between my shoulder blades and I got whiplash in my lower back. I was encased in a metal brace and I had to use a wheelchair if I needed to walk further than a few steps.

In time I healed, but some issues remained. I had suffered nerve damage and had lingering pain. My left foot would drag when I got tired and the lightest touch to my lower back would cause spasms to shoot down my legs. I was generally stiff and sore but I just accepted pain was part of my life; I was grateful I could walk.

I exercised and tried to keep my back healthy. I went to the gym, spinning and kickboxing and lifting weights. My back pain was managable. It was mostly fine.

Then, at the age of 30, I walked into a Bikram yoga studio. It all changed.

I know people have all kinds of opinions about Bikram. Opinions about the heat, the unchanging routine or about Bikram’s posture trademarks.

I don’t care about any of that.

I care that I am now in my 30s and for the first time in over 20 years I have no back pain.

Bikram makes me strong – mentally, spiritually and physically. This yoga gave me back my spine, in more ways than one.

I was ready for a life with a “bad back”, I was prepared for constant ache and various restrictions. One of those things I shouldn’t be able to do, is this:

 

But here I am anyway.

It changed my normal. It changed what I could expect from life.

Go ahead and call it a cult and make fun of the Yoga Girl but when yoga is no longer cool, when the world has moved on to the next big thing – I’m still going to be backbending.

That’s why it doesn’t bother me that I have a hard time getting my forehead to my knee in Dandayamana Janushirasana after two years of solid practice. I know I’ll get there eventually. I’ll still be doing this when I’m 84; two years is nothing.

I don’t take complements well. I shrug them off and explain them away. But when someone praises my backbend, I do my best to fight that habit and simply say thank you. Because it’s the purest and most genuine way I know to express gratitude – to my spine, to this practice and to this life.

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