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Dear ladies,

It’s hot in a Bikram yoga room. We all want to wear as little as possible. Sometimes a whole shirt is too much, but it’s important to note that a sports bra is a specific item. It looks something like this:

It is not possible to subsitute this for the kind of bra that you might see in a Victoria’s Secret window. If the bra you are wearing is a push-up, has lace or underwire – it’s not appropriate to wear in a yoga class. Breasts are a thing of beauty, show some respect and dress them properly for the activity. While some cleavage is acceptable for a yoga class, displaying your areolas is not.

Dear sirs:

While I am not really familiar with the day-to-day management of your particular equipment, I have learned a thing or two since doing yoga in a really hot room with many of your kind. Specifically, I have learned that you also need support. The support you require is not offered by regular cotton underthings. Cotton stretches out in all kinds of awkward ways and does not offer the assistance you need while stretching and kicking and bending. While I am impressed that you are confident enough to wear just your jockeys in a group of 50 people, you should know that anything with a flap is automatically inappropriate. Please consider something fitted, like this:

Because while those nylon shorts might look nice and breezy it’s because they are breezy and things have the tendency to fall out of them.

So, let’s commit to keeping it all together. I don’t care if it’s Lulu or Shakti or TJ Maxx…as long as it’s not underwear.

Thank you for your consideration.

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