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My exhausted husband leaned in the doorway with his yoga mat propped up next to him. “Am I a bad person if I don’t go to yoga tonight?” He asked.
The question seemed so ridiculous that I laughed at him. “The answer to that is an unequivocal no. No one has ever been a bad person because they miss their Thursday night Bikram class.”
“But going to yoga makes me a better person.” He replied, using our often quoted phrase.
When framed differently, it really made me think twice about saying that. I do often claim that yoga has made me a better person, because in a way, it seems like it has. I’m less stressed, more patient, less judgmental and more present.
But maybe this is not the right way to say it. Maybe framing it that way way sets us up for more guilt.
What I mean is that yoga enables me to be more of my true self. Because obviously, if I miss a class, I am not a bad person but maybe my priorities get a little more easily clouded. When I don’t make space in my life for yoga, I’m less able to cut through the bullshit. Yoga teaches me to get quiet for a moment, so the dust can settle and I can see clearly. Maybe that’s what I mean when I say it makes me a better person; I mean I’m more myself in some fundamentally realized way.
No thing has ever defined who you really are. Even yoga. When you identify and cling to something that is outside of yourself, that’s just ego. When we try to figure out the truth of ourselves, we uncover the way deep down part that is untouched by ego. That’s when we realize that just as our home or social status or occupation can’t define you, I’m sorry to say – yoga can’t, either.
Which is kinda too bad, because identifying with yoga would be a total no-brainer.
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I was just reading Pema Chodron’s piece on meditation last night, the fallacy that “meditation makes you a better person” Wow. I’m so guilty of this self deprecating behavior…….isn’t awareness wonderful? 🙂
It’s sooooo easy to fall into, isn’t it? Love love love Pema Chodron. She makes it all seem so simple. Thanks for stopping by!!
Very interesting. I hit “comments” thinking I’d reply, “Yoga is ONE of the things that can make you a better person.” It’s just one of the many paths that gets you up the mountain.
But I love the Pema ref! For a couple of years I have carried one of her proclamations around in the back of my head: “I’ve seen it all, and I love it all.” Now to dig out one of her books 🙂
“I’ve seen it all, and I love it all.” — that’s good!! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I’m so happy to hear from so many Pema Chodron fans!! Namaste!
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good
Oh! Okay, so here’s my take on this, and here’s what I think my “spiritual leader” would say. It’s not a matter of good/bad. It’s a matter of just getting more aligned with your true self, like you say. It’s about closing the gap between you and you.
When you do more yoga or more meditation, you’re probably much more aligned with your true self. But if you miss it for a while and you don’t go – NO PROBLEM – because you always know that you can go back and start again and bring yourself back to alignment. It’s not about being perfect all the time (no such thing!) – it’s about knowing how to help yourself. You never get it wrong and you never get it done!
“you never get it done.” LOVE that. Thanks for your thoughtful comment!
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So, I just found your blog a few weeks ago and just now read this post. The funny thing is, I was just telling my husband about how I feel like yoga makes me a better person, but couldn’t explain exactly what I meant. This morning, I read this post from November. These are tge words that I was looking for.
I’m so glad to hear this! I think it’s a common feeling among yogis…but it is hard to explain. I’m so happy you found me!
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I think yoga DOES make you a better person… but it doesn’t make you a GOOD person. Therefore missing a class can’t make you a BAD person. Semantics? Not to me! Love your posts!
Well said! Thanks so much for reading. Namaste!
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