I love gratitude and I love lists

Tags

Grace, gratitude, gratitude journal, writing

I have several bad habits. Chewing on ice is one of them. But I have another bad habit that is even more dangerous than the possibility of a cracked molar.

I have a habit of thinking that the moment I say “Wow – things are good!” that a vengeful god with a head shaped like a yin-yang symbol is going to appear and hand-deliver pancreatic cancer to everyone I love. I don’t know why I think this, but I’m perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Brene Brown talks a lot about this – and apparently I’m not alone with this horrible habit.)

But here’s the thing I’m trying to realize. Bad things might happen. Or they might not. Regardless, I don’t think it makes sense to go through life ignoring the good things in a feeble attempt to keep the bad things at bay. I’m just happier when I am grateful and when I recognize all the joyful things in my life. So, come what may – and I’ll say thank you for it.

So, that’s why it’s important for me to keep a gratitude journal. With everything that’s been going on, it’s easy to get caught up, overwhelmed and forget about the little things that are so integral to my happiness.

I’ve been writing a lot recently. I spend most of my life in my home office, typing away, with Grace at my feet. (As I write this, I have not left my house in FOUR days, with the exception of walking the dog.)

Lest this sound like complaining, let me assure you that I am totally thrilled about this situation. Lots of awesome writing-related things are going on and it’s downright dreamy.

However, at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is more writing. I’m drained.

But you know what I’m never too tired for? Lists. I love lists.

Lists make everything so clean and clear and uncomplicated. And if there is any way for that list to be numbered??? Fantastic. It rights my world and makes me feel like I can handle anything – as long as it’s in list form.

Since writing a journal seems like more energy than I can muster before bed, so I’ve been keeping a gratitude LIST! Perfect. The basic outline looks like this:

8/27/13 – Today I am grateful for: 

1.

2.

3.

4. 

5. 

Isn’t that easy?

So, I’d like to offer up this idea to anyone who might be feeling a little stuck or ungrounded. It settles my heart right before going to sleep when I write out 5 things that I’m grateful for in that moment. It’s often the health of my family. Sometimes it’s that the Chinese place delivers. It tends to be mixture of the profound and the practical.

But it always makes me feel good to know that I am ending my day with one solid thought – a heartfelt thank you for this life.

And I’m slowly learning that I don’t have to get nervous and look over my shoulder after I say it.

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The day of Grace

Tags

acceptance, Grace, gratitude, guru, health, meditation, spirituality

Two years ago today, J and I walked into the SPCA, just to “look.”

We walked out with my guru.

She was a malnourished little mutt with claws so long they wrapped around and dug into the pads of her feet. She didn’t know how to play. The sound of clapping made her cower. She had terrible nightmares that left her snarling and whimpering in her sleep. Life had not been easy for this dog.

Even with that history, no one in my life has taught me more about stillness, joy, acceptance, love and indeed, grace, than Grace.

We almost didn’t adopt her. The information sheet hanging on the door of her cage read “senior.” We couldn’t imagine enduring the loss of her so soon. But one look into her blue eye, and then her brown eye, and we knew that whatever time we had with her was worth it.

We joyfully surrendered to the unknown.

When I stand in the middle of my yoga mat, I often take a moment of stillness to devote my practice to Grace. I want to show my gratitude for all that she has taught me about getting over the stuff that I hold on to from my own past. She is a master class is being present. She is the living example of everything that I try to access by bringing yoga into my life.

Happy birthday, Grace. Thank you for finding us.

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Life lessons from a dog: snake bite

Tags

acceptance, Grace, gratitude, meditation, snake bite

The patient recovers

Grace was bit by a snake. (She is fine.)

It came out of nowhere. One minute, we were having a nice walk, the next minute she was bleeding profusely from her face and there was a snake coiled on the path.

I panicked. She was whimpering and clawing at her face and there was blood.

A lot of blood.

But somehow, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I had to take a breath and think. There was a calm inner voice that told me I had to take a close look at the snake – I had to be able to identify it.

I got her back to the house, dripping blood all through the front hall and I put her into the car. The inner voice reminded me how to get to the vet and stop at red lights.

This is not to say I was calm, cool and collected the whole time. There were many moments when I favored freaking out over breathing. The most notable moment being when I was trying to call Husband on the way to the vet and I thought the phone wasn’t working. I was swearing my head off, cursing at my phone and J was on the line saying “Hello? Hello?” in response to my flurry of filth.

But the point is, when I could find the moment to stop swearing and breathe – there was stillness underneath all that panic. When I paused for a second, there was that voice that said:

“Hey! You! Stop flapping your arms uselessly, here’s what you need to do next…”

When I could stop and access it, there was a peaceful inner sense that was leading me the right way. It was always there for me. I just needed to be still enough to hear it.

It’s great to be in the moment and breathe when you have candles lit, a comfy cushion and softly ringing bells. But remembering to give yourself that space to breathe and listen, and not just react mindlessly when something unexpected happens – that is the true goal.

It’s also the biggest challenge.

I don’t like surprises – even so-called “good” surprises. But sometimes they are unavoidable. Sometimes life throws a snake in the path and you have to try to deal with it gracefully.

My girl is doing fine; the snake was non-poisonous. She is on an antibiotic and painkillers that make her a little sleepy; a great excuse for cuddling on the couch with mom and dad.

I am reminded that things can change in a moment. I might as well be in the moment with all of it.

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