Tags
A friend of mine recently went through a hard time.
I reached out to her, expecting to be waved away amongst a flurry of “I’m fine” and “Don’t worry about it.”
That’s not what she did. She allowed me to sit with her while she cried. She let me hold her hand and rub her back, even though there was absolutely nothing that I could do to fix the situation.
But the fact that she let me sit with her was such a kindness – to me. I knew I couldn’t make it all better, but simply allowing the connection between us was good for us both.
Her willingness to accept my compassion and love was one of the most beautiful displays of strength I have seen in a really long time.
We talk a lot about giving compassion but we forget about how important it is to receive it.
How many times have I denied someone who was trying to help me? How many times have I pretended that I wasn’t crying and that I was okay when clearly – I was not? How many times have I refused a favor and rejected a complement or generous word? How many times have I shut down love that someone was trying to show me?
Many, many times. Because I thought it would make me look weak.
I think that people are so focused on being independent and self-sufficient that we assume any kind of acceptance of compassion means that we are lacking in emotional strength. But that’s so wrong.
It’s easy to shut down and be impermeable and say you are fine when you know it’s a lie. That’s the cop-out. The real power is in letting people in.
So next time you are struggling, in the yoga studio, at home, at work, be open to people who are reaching out to you. I bet they’ll be there for you. And if you look around and you don’t see anyone there – write to me.
Peace, peace, peace.
—————————————————
You might also like:
- Well. That was unexpected.
- Spiritually stunted
- If you’re terrified, you’re doing it right: authenticity
I agree whole-heartedly, and it’s a lesson I really need to work on. I hate accepting anything from anyone. Thanks for this post.
It’s a surprisingly difficult thing to do, but it’s so important to understand both sides of compassion! Thank you so much for reading!
So very true. A lovely and open blog post.
Thank you so much!
You would think, being a nurse, I would find this easy to do. On the contrary. While I “give” it all the time in my work, “receiving” it is almost impossible. Thanks so much for the post!
Thank you! I would think that you are not alone in that. I’m glad you liked the post!
I don’t do yoga, but I keep your blog in my favorites because of posts like this. Lisa you are a wonderful writer and hone in on meaningful topics. Your attitude and perceptions reach much further than a yoga studio…thanks for reminding us that there is strength in letting go of one’s capable facade. xx
Thank you so much for this. I’m so happy to hear that you enjoy the blog and can relate to it. You absolutely made my day.
I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear this. Thank you, as always, for your lovely words.
You are so welcome! We all need those reminders… thanks for reading.
My life-long bestfriend, who I haven’t spoken to in several years, just reached out to me today after finding out yesterday that her mother is terminally ill and has but several days to live. I will be seeing her tonight to offer what compassion I can, and just be. I will be practicing this afternoon before meeting up with her. Need to open up my mind, body and soul in order to connect completely with her. Thank you for this reminder!
What a difficult situation- glad you can be there for her. I’m sure she will appreciate you listening and being present for her. Wishing you much peace.
Pingback: Let Them In « Another Day Goes By
Lisa, loved this post. I blogged about it and cited your link:
http://www.anotherdaygoesby.com/let-them-in/
What a lovely post!! Thank you so much – I’m really happy to hear that this was meaningful to you. Sending you lots of peace and love in this difficult time.