Husband always calls.
But the other night, he didn’t call.
So, I launched into a negotiation.
“If he is not dead in a ditch and there is some other random reason he didn’t call, I promise I’ll never complain about anything ever again.”
Who am I bartering with? Do I really think they are so sick of hearing me bitch that they are willing to spare a life whose time is up? Am I talking to God? Am I more comfortable calling it The Universe? Powers That Be? Whoever it is, are they debating what exact price is reasonable for sparing my husband from death-by-tree? Are they thinking that if I will throw in some additional charity work, then we have a deal?
He walked through the door a few minutes later; he had forgotten his phone. And now I’m never ever allowed to be upset about anything ever again.
It’s an odd thing.
Yet, I bet you do it, too.
Do we really think that life is really so tit for tat? Totally fair and balanced? Or are we just scared and hopeful?
That rush of emotion is so strong. You know anything will be bearable as long as the biopsy results come back negative/the plane gets through the turbulence/you hear the car in the driveway.
Where does that gratitude go? Why do we lose it so quickly? More importantly, is there a way to hang on to it? Is there a way to treat every day like the day you cheated death? Because really….it is.
I’ve recently started saying a little prayer of gratitude in the morning; just as my feet hit the floor.
(A note here about the word “prayer.” It’s never been a comfortable one for me. In my experience, prayer is mostly associated with election season or a tie game. But other people have much nicer experiences with prayer and I’m trying to get to that point. Besides, other words don’t work here; it’s not really a phrase or a saying. It is a prayer, so I’ll get past semantics and just say prayer.)
My prayer is nothing fancy or elaborate, it’s just a small, heartfelt thanks for having another day to kick around on the planet and try to do something good.
The Science of Gratitude concept is getting a lot of play these days, as researchers look into the tangible results of being thankful. Will my early morning show of gratitude bring an abundance wonderfulness and joy into my life? Will it mean my bartering days are over? Who knows. All I know is that I’ve always been someone who feels better saying thank you.
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