I was talking to a friend at yoga yesterday and I asked her what her plans were for the Thanksgiving holiday. I thought I was just making conversation, but turns out I hit a nerve.

She took a deep breath, then at a frantic pace and with rising tears, she told me about the drama with her family and how the plan was for them to have dinner with the in-law’s family, but her mom just called to back out and they don’t want to spend time with them.

“It’s not supposed to be that.” She sighed, “It’s supposed to be about family.”

Annnnd – let the holiday stress/guilt/anxiety begin.

We all have our holiday hang ups: those things that we think “should” be part of the season. And it usually involves whatever it is we don’t have. This time of year, I tend to get stuck on my only child-ness and get jealous of people with big families. People who have dealt with divorce wish they didn’t have that complication. People who have to travel bemoan the journey. It’s always something. And what is this whole holiday supposed to be about?? Oh yeah, gratitude. I forgot.

But the truth is that families don’t act like families do in the movies. Or if they do, it’s much more in the vein of Christmas Vacation.

As for me, my Thanksgiving holiday won’t be very traditional at all.

It’ll just be the two of us. Three, if you count the dog — and you should ALWAYS count the dog.

It’ll be vegan and there will be a reasonable amount as I refuse to make way too much food this year.

And the house will be in a complete state of chaos because life is a little hectic right now.

See if you can embrace the is-ness of this holiday, in all its hectic, un-perfect glory. Because even if it seems like it’s not how it’s supposed to be – it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.

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